Do you have trouble expressing your needs? Is it difficult for you to say 'no'? Are you afraid of speaking in public? Do you avoid confrontation rather than face it, even if it means exploding later when it's too late? If you said 'yes' to these questions, you probably lack self-assertion, a condition characterised by withdrawal and self-effacement. According to specialists, people who suffer from it find it difficult to be themselves in social situations. Even in mild cases, lack of self-assertion can be a source of great discomfort, leading to personal dissatisfaction, poor self-image, difficulties in interpersonal relationships, and the feeling that others do not respect you. This book aims to help you (re)develop a balanced relationship with others, so you can learn to express yourself while avoiding the extremes of passivity (i.e. others have every right over you) or aggression (i.e. others have no rights). Written in the form of a self-help manual, this book should enable you to pinpoint those situations in your professional and personal life that give you most difficult: expressing yourself during a meeting; starting up a conversation when you don't know anyone; criticising your partner; saying 'no' to a friend who wants a favour; asking your boss for a raise. For each of these situations, the author offers a series of techniques that really work, as well as practical exercises that will gradually teach you how to be more assertive. Readers will be able to help themselves by first evaluating their individual difficulties and then adopting an easy-to-apply, well-adapted and effective plan of action. Before publication, this work was approved by doctors and specialists working with patients lacking in assertiveness, as well as by patients themselves.

Frédéric Fanget is a medical psychiatrist and company consultant specialising in disorders related to lack of assertiveness. He teaches and practises in Lyon.